So, having wallowed in the stinking pit of depression for a few weeks, I have been trying to dig out of the hole and into the fresh air again. I swore that this month I would try to be more positive, more active, more connected. I would support my online friends, be more fun with my kids, be affectionate with my husband and stop obsessing and bickering about stupid stuff.
I don't know how well I was doing. I would like to think I was handling things pretty well. I wrote a post for autism awareness, did some paperwork that had been waiting for a while, tried to comment on friends' blogs and be supportive and sympathetic.
There were bumps in the road of positivity. The Monkey's service provider is being a PITA, the government bureaucracy is being bureaucratic and we are house hunting, on the premise that our landlord is planning on selling this place. I handled it. I am handling it. I did not explode or break down. I got angry, sure. I am frustrated with how things are going, and how little I can affect it all, but I am coping. Or at least I was.
From last night to now, I have been crying off and on, feeling down, useless, rejected. And over what?
A Facebook incident. Yeah, that's right, social media. Why do I do this?
The incident in question involves a member of a group I belong to, who has exercised her right to block me entirely. I can't see her posts, I can't private message her, I can't see her pages. The reason she has done this is apparently an annoying habit I have of "liking" too many posts and comments. The groups and friends we have in common tend to specialise in long, hilarious threads. They can run into the hundreds of comments. So, when I "like" a lot of the comments, it blows up people's notifications.
Honestly, I can't blame her, it really is me. But although I can't see what she posts, I can, on those threads, see other people's replies and references to her posts. And every time I do, it hits me like a punch to the gut. The worst part for me is that I like her. I appreciate her wit and humour. I feel like I have been excluded, shunned, rejected by someone I respect. I can't even apologize. And I hate it. And I can't change it. And I seem to be letting it drag me down into the pit again. And it is my own stupid fault.
Showing posts with label social media. Show all posts
Showing posts with label social media. Show all posts
Thursday, 11 April 2013
Tuesday, 2 April 2013
Puzzled and blue
Autism awareness. I can't say that I am overly pumped about the day, month or whatever, but I, my husband (the special needs teacher) and my kids are wearing blue t-shirts and we have the blue light bulbs. I have my puzzle piece necklace. I am writing for the first time in over a month. But mostly, I am parenting my kids, and trying not to stress out over the events of life.
I feel like I have been phoning it in lately.
I feel like I need to explain what the symbols of awareness and acceptance mean to me. People get angry and upset over symbols that they interpret and associate with various causes and organizations.
Light it up blue: This campaign was begun by an organization that is controversial in the autism community and frankly detested by many, Autism Speaks. I don't endorse them. I don't like their negative and cure oriented mission, and I don't like that they exclude those who don't agree with their mission, including autistics themselves. They have served the purpose of raising awareness, but their fear mongering and focus on catastrophising the condition is unacceptable. Their endorsement of unproven and dangerous treatments and "cures" is appalling.
That said, I think that blue is as good a colour as any, and if someone asks why I have a blue light at my front door, it has served its purpose as a beacon for opening the discussion of autism, why awareness is important, how acceptance is best demonstrated, what autism is for my family.
If the colour blue is not for you, the rainbow is a great alternative to represent "the spectrum" but really has multiple associations with other groups and causes, the most notable being the GBLT community.
Puzzles and puzzle pieces: I'm not entirely clear if this originated with that same organization, but I love the puzzle piece. My take on it is this: the world is a puzzle, and all of us are pieces, we all fit somewhere, but some pieces are harder to find a place for than others. This isn't their fault, and they are still a part of the whole, absolutely necessary to complete the picture. They belong, and we can help them find their place.
I have no quarrel with those who eschew these symbols, or embrace others, like the butterfly, rainbow, and so on. I don't want to argue the symbolism. In conversation, or in your space (blog, Facebook pages, what have you) I will refrain from discussions of these symbols if they offend you.
Still, I want what the awareness and acceptance message hopes to achieve: a world where everyone's child is accepted for who they are, what they are. Where disability is just different ability, and accommodation is just the status quo. Where having traits and behaviours that are unusual but harmless is no big deal. Where help is available for everyone to achieve their ambitions and potential. Where assisted communication devices, weighted vests, ear protection and other useful assistive technologies are readily available, not notable, but as ordinary as cell phones, eyeglasses and umbrellas.
I am tired of being attacked or disdained for my use of symbols, and the way I chose to promote the cause. I really feel that my message is clear as I can make it. I am not attacking anyone with my love for my kids, my respect for their differences, my compassion for their struggles, my admiration for their successes.
So celebrate difference, accept people, help those who need it, accept help with dignity when you require it.
And if you have any questions about my blue t-shirt and light, my puzzle piece necklace or my son's behaviour, let me know. I am always happy to help one more person to understand autism, in as much as I understand it myself.
I feel like I have been phoning it in lately.
I feel like I need to explain what the symbols of awareness and acceptance mean to me. People get angry and upset over symbols that they interpret and associate with various causes and organizations.
Light it up blue: This campaign was begun by an organization that is controversial in the autism community and frankly detested by many, Autism Speaks. I don't endorse them. I don't like their negative and cure oriented mission, and I don't like that they exclude those who don't agree with their mission, including autistics themselves. They have served the purpose of raising awareness, but their fear mongering and focus on catastrophising the condition is unacceptable. Their endorsement of unproven and dangerous treatments and "cures" is appalling.
That said, I think that blue is as good a colour as any, and if someone asks why I have a blue light at my front door, it has served its purpose as a beacon for opening the discussion of autism, why awareness is important, how acceptance is best demonstrated, what autism is for my family.
If the colour blue is not for you, the rainbow is a great alternative to represent "the spectrum" but really has multiple associations with other groups and causes, the most notable being the GBLT community.
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| Four Sea Stars is a fantastic blog. You should check it out. http://four-sea-stars.blogspot.ca/ |
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| I make and sell these in my Etsy store here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/103172575/autism-awareness-puzzle-piece-chainmail?ref=shop_home_feat (shameless plug) |
I have no quarrel with those who eschew these symbols, or embrace others, like the butterfly, rainbow, and so on. I don't want to argue the symbolism. In conversation, or in your space (blog, Facebook pages, what have you) I will refrain from discussions of these symbols if they offend you.
Still, I want what the awareness and acceptance message hopes to achieve: a world where everyone's child is accepted for who they are, what they are. Where disability is just different ability, and accommodation is just the status quo. Where having traits and behaviours that are unusual but harmless is no big deal. Where help is available for everyone to achieve their ambitions and potential. Where assisted communication devices, weighted vests, ear protection and other useful assistive technologies are readily available, not notable, but as ordinary as cell phones, eyeglasses and umbrellas.
I am tired of being attacked or disdained for my use of symbols, and the way I chose to promote the cause. I really feel that my message is clear as I can make it. I am not attacking anyone with my love for my kids, my respect for their differences, my compassion for their struggles, my admiration for their successes.
So celebrate difference, accept people, help those who need it, accept help with dignity when you require it.
And if you have any questions about my blue t-shirt and light, my puzzle piece necklace or my son's behaviour, let me know. I am always happy to help one more person to understand autism, in as much as I understand it myself.
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